Blitzkrieg- Part III
During this entire relationship, I remember feeling that my parents seemed pretty cold towards me regarding Blitz. I felt like since they didn’t approve of him, that they didn’t care how badly he’d wounded me but that it was just a relief to have him out of my life. Partly this was true, but Mom did try and take my mind off him in various ways and I’m thankful for that. Just recently, she told me she had been praying and fasting for me the entire time I was struggling with this guy. As much as I wished that she would have also talked to me more about my feelings and let me cry and vent, this new knowledge really touched me.
Mom: Yeah, you remember that time I took you out of town for the weekend so we could have fun and forget about Blitz?
Mom: Don’t you remember I wasn’t eating anything except soup?
Me: I just thought you were on a diet.
Mom: No, honey. I was fasting for you. For your heart. For him to get out of your life forever!
Me: Oh……..(inner 5 year old little girl crying in delight because her Mommy loves her) Thanks, Mom. Well, it worked.
And it did. It worked. Blitzkreig was out of my life for good. But the scars left on my heart were permanent. Even years later, when I saw him around town I would get a sick mixture of excitement, sorrow, hatred and warmth in the pit of my belly. As I write this, it has been 18 years since we broke up for the last time and there are parts of that pain from him that will never leave me. Am I over him? Of course. But just as a bomb exploding leaves bits of shrapnel in its path, so did that relationship leave bits of hurt forever wedged into my heart and mind. God has worked with me through this pain over the years but I’ve never been the same since. I gave my entire heart fully and unabashedly to someone when I was so young, so vulnerable, so fresh and new.
God spoke to me when I was on that mission’s trip to Mexico. He told me to break up with Blitz. I disobeyed. In fact, I fell deeper into the relationship with him. Sin isn’t without its consequences. God commands us to do things because He knows what is in our best interest. He knew I’d be devastated by this clueless young teenage boy and wanted to save me from that.
Friends, don’t defy God’s commands because the only path it can lead you down is the one to pain and destruction. Let Blitzkreig be more than just a history lesson to you. Let it speak to your heart and prevent you from making any person (man, woman or child) the most important thing in your life.
Putting “him” before “Him” turned out to be tragic. God wants to save us from tragedy.