Blitzkreig- Part I
In honor of Valentine’s Day, the next chronological story in this series is about my first love. I didn’t plan the posts to line up this perfectly, but it seems fitting now. This is a longer story, so I’m splitting it up into three posts. This goes out to all the high school girls that I know and love. Be very careful who you give your heart to at this stage in your life. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that you shouldn’t give it to anyone just yet…..
Rico Suave and I remained close “pals” for a few years, hanging out every so often, going to dances together, playing the kissing game on and off. But eventually my crush faded because I knew how many girls he was playing on the side. It became too much for me to pour everything into one person who was pouring into at least 6 other people. I once caught him entering the classroom with his lips covered, and I mean smeared, with sparkly lip gloss. I called him on it.
Me: Who have you been making out with? Your lips are like, covered in glitter lip gloss.
Him: Nobody. I was helping some younger kids with their glitter crafts. I must have rubbed my mouth with my glittery hands.
Me: You don’t have any glitter on your hands though. What young kids?
Him: (silence as he sat down at his desk and turned his back to me)
I had a short lived boyfriend for a little while, but he was a bit of a jerk and I’m almost 100% positive he dumped me because I didn’t wax my upper lip. After that low-drama fiasco, I began attending a Wednesday night youth group and developed a far away, kinda stalker-ish crush on this other boy who was friends with Rico Suave. His name will simply be Blitzkreig. Because similar to the military tactic, his purpose in my life was to create disorganization through the use of force and (fire)power, breaking through the opponent’s line of defense. That opponent, of course, was Rico Suave. Blitz went to another school (public…ooooooh!) and was a total and complete babe. He had bleached hair and wore a puca shell necklace and an Austin 3:16 shirt (which meant he was a total unapologetic BA). I photocopied his yearbook photo and pinned it on my corkboard in my bedroom, staring at it for the next year.
Then, the miraculous happened. Junior year of high school I walked down the hall on the first day of class……and who do I see walking beside Rico Suave? It was Blitzkreig. Strutting in slow motion, I’m convinced. Did anyone else notice that? There he was….IN MY TINY CHRISTIAN HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY. ATTENDING MY CLASSES. WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!? GOD LOVES ME!
Me: Play it cool, play it cool (as I straighten out my GAP khaki skirt)
Blitz: (walking past me, staring at me)
Me: (OHMYGOODNESS I MIGHT JUST DIE, but I’ll smile instead)
History class, first period. He’s sitting at the table across the room, his now natural brown hair perched like a freaking majestic eagle on top of his head. Teacher asks us to get up and introduce ourselves to the class. I need to sound really cool and cute and breezy. Okay, it’s my turn.
Me: Hi, I’m Danielle and I like….. (my Roxy wedges give out from underneath me and my ankle gives out next and then I’m falling into my seat. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?? Stand back up, hurry!)…..and I like to fall down and embarrass myself, apparently. (I don’t remember the rest of my speech)
Blitz: (Smiling and laughing at me)
Me: (If anything, I have that adorable quirky, clumsy “I Love Lucy” thing going for me!)
At some point, Rico Suave introduces Blitz to me and *instant attraction* ensues between the two of us. And to be clear, I wrote that with stars because that’s all I remember seeing when I met him for the first time. Fast forward to a few months later when Rico Suaves realizes I like somebody else (Blitz) and that somebody else really likes me too (Blitz) and that he can’t be mad about it because he really should have asked me out freshman year after he kissed me and then said “let’s just be kissing friends”.
We tell him we want to be boyfriend and girlfriend and he is really bummed about it at first but eventually is generally pretty accepting and cool about it. He and Blitz remain friends (as much as you can remain friends with your bestie who stole the girl you “loved”) but their relationship really isn’t ever the same after that. I feel responsible for hurting my friend, but like a selfish teenage jerk, I decide not to care much because in my irrational mind, Rico Suave jipped me out of my first kiss and the only person I ever want to kiss ever again is Blitz.
More next week….but for now, I must say how thankful I am that I found my “forever Valentine” in my sweet husband. He’d never treat, nor has he ever treated me, in the heartbreaking way that Blitz (or any other man I’ve dated, for that matter) has treated me.